Shimmer in the Light
by lovely aldebaran
Summary: We can't always hold on to what we love and need.


Shimmer in the Light

I'm in a jerky carriage, on my way back home. The old mansion looms in the distance, sitting like a great bird on a nest of forest at the top of the hill. It's been months since I've seen the place, and it's even more run down than when I left it. Shingles are falling off the roof, the fence is rusted, weeds are growing in the barren orchard. The horses slow and stop at the drivers command. The door of the carriage is opened by a gloved, beloved hand, that of my old nanny Beth.

Welcome home, Master Riku. How was the trip? Oh, you must be tired. I've got a hot bath waiting inside for you. Her old voice creaks at me like she's made of oak. I'm thankful, though, that she is so kind.

The two other servants are waiting at the bottom of the once-grand marble steps. The bow and greet me in turn, formally, and then smile and greet me again, this time without restriction. Both of them have been working in this house since my grandparent's time, and they have the gray hair to show it.

At the top of the stairs, waiting for me, is a person who's shining in the light.

My sister's husband can only live in the light, just the way he is now. He's looking dolefully at the setting sun, almost as if he regrets that another day is passing so quickly. Sora told me once that his father was a farmer, and his mother grew flowers and ran a local flower shop. It was obvious from the way he moved that he came from the earth, and belonged there. But he fell in love with my sister, a collage student living in his rural town as an exchange student. When they were married, she told him he needed her job to survive, that it was what she lived for.

They moved into this decrepit mansion our parents left us. She's long since thrown herself completely into her job and is always away from home. So now Sora doesn't have the light of his home or his heart, and he's wilting.

Are you alright? Sora doesn't look at me when he answers, which frustrates me a little. The sun is gone now, and the red glow is dying on the redwood floors.

I'm okay, I guess, he says as he pulls the heavy curtains closed. It's been so lonely, I'm glad you're here now. When is my wife coming home?

I sigh. I don't know when she can come home, but it won't be for a long time. Her business is doing very well right now, and she doesn't have time to visit, I suppose. I know it can't compare, but at least I'll be here, I tell him dejectedly.

Beth comes into the room as Sora leaves. Her bushy brows furrow when she sees him dragging away.

Oh, Master Riku, she sighs. That poor boy's heartache is just horrible. Can you see how much thinner he's got? I could tell. His cheeks are translucent and drawn. It looks as if he hasn't eaten in a week. Beth fed the crackling fire and shuffled away to go to sleep. She's used to my nocturne habits, and doesn't complain about them any longer. The fire makes patterns on the brick fireplace, making me dream of magical fairies and mysterious demons.

A creaking of the door startles me awake. Sora comes in silently. He's wearing his white nightgown. It matches his skin and his hair, but his eyes are dark as the night around him. He's walking toward me now, slowly. His eyes are fixed, and he can't see, I'm sure of it.

So… Sora? He stops and turns his head to look at me, too slowly, and his eyes don't move. He's looking past me, through me. A tingling sensation crawls up by spine. I shiver. He begins to walk again, gazing ahead.

Suddenly I realize he's going to walk into the fire, and it will burn him up. I jump up, reaching to pull him back, but it's too late, too late, he's inside now. The flame is leaping at his nightgown, his hair, his skin. It's burning him up, turning him black, and his disappearing into the night. A chain that held me back snaps and I am free, and I lurch forward to pull him from the fire. But he's gone already; he's disappeared into the darkness. My chest hurts, it's violently painful. Sora is gone, the flame burned him all up.

Shh, don't worry, I'm here, wake up. I'm here. Someone's shaking my arm. It's Sora. He's sitting next to me on the sofa in his white nightgown, with his white skin all smooth. My gasps slow to slow breaths, and I'm dizzy. He's wiping my face with a scented handkerchief. It smells like orange blossoms.

Are you alright? He asks me now, and I nod, still in a daze. I'm so relieved that he's safe, and I tell him so.

Silly, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You saved me.

Something's wrong, but I'm not sure what it is.

I won't disappear into the dark, so you don't have to worry about me, Riku. Please don't worry.

But Sora, you're making me worried. What do you mean? What have I saved you from? He smiled and laid a hand softly on my hair, petting me as if I were a cat.

Don't have nightmares about me anymore, okay? Only think light thoughts. I'll see you in the morning.

He smiled and left me then. He left me wondering, left my mind grasping at something I couldn't understand but he did. I want to chase him and demand an answer, but I won't. Instead, I'll go to sleep, and dream light dreams, and in the morning, I'll see him, just like he said I would. To know that someone will be there in the morning is comforting.

I awoke in my bed, feeling as if the whole night had been a dream. The sheets are smooth on my cheek, and for a moment I don't feel like getting out of bed. But the morning light is coming through the curtain along with a drifting breeze. I want to see Sora, too, and ask him if I really was dreaming.

Out of bed now, and I throw the curtains open and start my bath. A soap I put in makes the water foam with pink bubbles. It smells like Sora did last night. I don't think it's possible to smell in dreams.

Master Riku! Breakfast is ready! Beth calls through the door. I'm sure she's made a wonderful breakfast for me, since I've just come home. There'll be strawberries and cream, buttered toast, bagels and lox, grapes, coffee and milk and sugar. Every time she does this I tell her she shouldn't go through the trouble for me, but she just laughs and does it anyway. She knows how much I like when she makes a fuss over me, just like when I was a child.

Sora hasn't come down for breakfast yet, so the rest of us have started without him. At first I was put off, but now I'm worried. Beth told me not to, that he always sleeps in this late. I put on a happy face so not to disappoint her after all the hard work she put into this, but I can't help the nervousness eating away at me.

Finally the pressure is too much and I excuse myself. I'm going to check on Sora to see if he's alright. His chamber door is still closed. I quicken my pace.

He won't answer even though I'm knocking on the door. So I go inside. The curtains are wide open, and the sun is in the room, leaving it without a shadow. Sora is still lying in bed. I call to him, but he won't stir, so I touch his arm… and it's cold. His hand and fingers, cheeks, brow, are cold. My heart skips a beat and sets off at a wild pace.

Sora? Sora? He isn't waking up. My eyes burn, and I don't know what to do; he won't wake up.

Riku. His voice calls to me, but the sound isn't coming from his lips, its coming from behind me.

I'm in the light.

I can see him now, he's a shimmer in the light. I hold his cold hand and reach out to the glowing figure. I want to reconnect them and put Sora's soul into his body again. But my tears blur my vision. I can't see him in the light anymore, but I can feel his cold hand in mine still. It's all that's left.

--

I was kind of thinking that Sora's wife is Kairi, even though I didn't mention her name. Anyway. Remember, I always lover reviews.


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